Sometimes my genealogy research requires a pencil, a piece of paper, and a second cup of coffee to untangle. This is one of those stories.

My 3X great grandmother, Sarah (Gross) Carter (1836-1912), and her daughter, Nancy Carter were, of course, mother and daughter. But after the death of Sarah’s first husband during the Civil War, a pair of brothers entered their lives – and mother and daughter eventually became sisters-in-law as well.

It began with John Carter.

Sarah Gross married John Carter (1829-1862) on August 28, 1852 in Auglaize County, Ohio. She was 15 years old, John was 23 years old. Their first child, daughter Nancy, my 2X great grandmother, was born the following September. Three other children followed – Martha Ann who was born and died in 1856, Milton born in 1859 and died four years later in 1863, and lastly, daughter Luscetta born on February 24, 1862.

John enlisted in the Civil War for the State of Ohio on September 14, 1861. He died only eight months later on May 23, 1862.

Among the surviving Civil War records concerning his death is a handwritten account describing his illness as “brain fever”, a term commonly used in the nineteenth century for illnesses involving high fever and inflammation or infection affecting the brain. Whatever the precise diagnosis would be today, John Carter’s death left Sarah a widow with three young children to raise, one still an infant.

Sarah was only twenty-five years old.

Her life, however, did not end with John Carter’s.

Sarah later married Simon Smith (1839-1915) on July 19, 1864 and became Sarah (Gross, Carter) Smith. Years passed and her firstborn daughter, Nancy Carter grew up and married a man named George Adam Smith (1850-1920).

And this is where the family tree takes an interesting turn.

Simon Smith and George Smith were brothers.

Sarah had married Simon.

Her daughter, Nancy, had married Simon’s younger brother, George.

With those two marriages, Sarah and Nancy were no longer simply mother and daughter. They were also sisters-in-law.

And if that isn’t enough to make a genealogist scratch their head, consider the relationships from the other direction.

Simon Smith was Nancy’s stepfather. When Simon and her mother, married she was about 11 years old. But because Nancy grew up and married Simon’s brother, Simon was also Nancy’s brother-in-law.

George Smith became Sarah’s son-in-law because he married her daughter. But because Sarah married George’s brother, George was also Sarah’s brother-in-law.

Some family trees branch neatly.

Others tie themselves into knots.

What makes this story particularly special to me is that photographs survive of the people involved. I have images identified as John Carter and Sarah Gross Carter, as well as a later photo of Sarah with her second husband, Simon Smith. These aren’t simply names connected by lines on a pedigree chart. I can look into the faces of the people whose lives created those lines.

There is also something poignant behind the geneaological curiousity.

When Sarah lost John during the Civil War, she could not have known what the remainder of her life would look like. When John died, their youngest child, Luscetta was only months old. A year after John died, in 1863 their only son, Milton died at about 4 years old. Sarah was a young woman whose husband had gone off to war and never returned. She had children to care for a a life that had to continue despite losses she had not chosen.

Eventually, she built another life with Simon Smith and from that marriage came another seven children – three sons and four daughters.

And somewhere along the way, her daughter, Nancy built a life with Simon’s brother George.

More than 160 years later, what remains is one of those wonderfully complicated little stories hidden inside a family tree – a reminder that the people we research do not arrange their lives for the convenience of future genealogists.

Sarah Gross Carter Smith and Nancy Carter were born mother and daughter.

Through the strange twists of life, they became sisters-in-law, too.